It’s too Soon to Cut Grass

Every year, in at least the past five years, maybe more, the weather in April is warmer. It used to be around May, in the Richmond, Virginia area, we’d sometimes start dealing with hot weather. I used to think that was too soon too, feeling cheated out of my spring as I’m usually cheated out of my fall, my favorite season.

I’m from the North—New York. Why did I start moving south? I declare right now, I am not moving farther south than where I am at this point in time. You will not find me in the states below Virginia except for the occasional visit. For those of you who love hot weather, please, take my share and I hope you enjoy it. If you’re around in the next 50 years or so, you may get more hot, frigid, and violent weather than you bargained for. Around 97% of scientists agree that Earth is warming. But, I digress.

You can always put on more clothes if you’re cold. There’s a strict limit of how many articles of clothing you can take off because it’s too hot. I urge you not to explore that limit.

Why am I so hot under the collar? I promised my husband I would do all the yard work so I could move farther out into “God’s country.” That was 15 years ago. Trust me. Yard work was a lot easier 15 years ago. Now, as the bones and muscles grow older, it’s definitely not so enjoyable.

I look around the outside of my house and see that green stuff growing higher, taunting me. The shrubbery joins in to mock me—daring to pop sprigs above the uniform height I talked it into last summer. I’m sharpening the blades on my hedge trimmer in front of them. I’m hoping to frighten those rebellious growths into curtailing the obnoxious behavior. I hope it works.

I enjoy seeing the birds nesting and hearing their songs. I love observing the fat carpenter bees flitting about, defying the laws of avionics. There are promising buds on the trees. But, it shouldn’t be earlier every year.

Today, we’re expecting some strong thunderstorms because of the heat. I guess tomorrow will be the day of reckoning for that grass and complicit hedges. Don’t even talk to me about the weed eating.

As far as writing goes, imagine those green things taking their revenge on unsuspecting humans. How will we survive? :->

I hope you all had a pleasant spring break.

Happy Writing!